National Punctuation Day

Today September 24th is National Punctuation Day so Im giving my punctuation the day off consider doing the same with yours but just for today

Duct Tape: Problem Solved

Unfortunately, I was out the day this particular story takes place, but as told to me by my co-worker (we'll call her Olivia), with a few of my own comments thrown in...


Olivia decided to answer some phone calls during the busier part of the afternoon to help relieve some of the stress at the circulation desk. She received a phone call from a woman that went something like this:

"Terry Library, this is Olivia, can I help you?"

"Well, first of all, I'm blind. Like really blind. And I also just had surgery and they messed up my brain...I was wondering if you could help me find some duct tape. I have about 6 rolls here that people have gotten me and they're all the wrong kind. They don't listen to me. I need the kind with those strings in it. The really tough kind. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes, ma'am. I believe Duck brand duct tape, like d-u-c-k duck has that kind of duct tape. Let me see if I can look it up..."

Meanwhile the woman proceeds to explain why she needs this sort of tape...

"See, these maintenance men at my apartment think they can come in whenever they want. They're trying to sabbotage me. They drive really fast over the speedbump in front of my apartment to make lots of noise, and one day they even hit an elderly woman! In fact, this morning I woke up to find one of them maintenance men starring me in the face! I tried all these other kinds of duct tape on my door, but they just keep pulling it off!"

Her findings? Ultimate Duck brand duct tape. According to the website, it has the "best performance in extreme indoor/outdoor conditions." Excellent. I would definitely classify this woman's condition as extreme.

After hearing about this ultimate duct tape, this patron was extremely thankful and asked Olivia to repeat all the details so she could record it and play it back to her supposedly incompetent duct tape scouts.

Olivia made sure to add a disclaimer: "Even though I gave you information about this duct tape, I cannot guarantee that it will fix your problem."

The woman didn't seem too concerned--"Oh, I understand," she said. "What's one more roll of duct tape?"

This is another case that proves the theory the world seems to cling to: librarians know everything.

(Side note: this is the same patron that has called a few times asking how to keep the microwaves from coming down through space through her microwave and into her brain. Our suggestion? Cover her head with aluminum foil.)