Our library system has been actively promoting the fact that we have more than just books because the sad reality is that a big portion of our circulation is DVDs. Most regular patrons know this, but a few are still discovering that it is entirely possible to borrow DVDs without paying. Then there are still others that completely miss the point. For example...
A patron came up to the desk the other day and enthusiastically suggested: "You guys need to get a Redbox!"
To which my co-worker wanted to retort (but opted not to): "Yeah! And we also need a robot that shelves books in order!"
Friday, November 4, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
The English Language Can Be Tough...
I just had a patron come up and ask about an author. She said (and I quote): "Yeah, if you could just should me where her books are I'd be appreci-native. Is that the word you say? Appreci-native? Or apprec-ative? What's the right word to say?"
Ma'am, I think you need to use an easier word. Obviously that one is causing you great effort and I'd hate to have to call a paramedic today. How about "that'd be nice"? Or "I'd like that"?
Ma'am, I think you need to use an easier word. Obviously that one is causing you great effort and I'd hate to have to call a paramedic today. How about "that'd be nice"? Or "I'd like that"?
Friday, August 19, 2011
Library Books Are Not Your Purse
Women's purses are bottomless pits for everything--from candy wrappers to nail clippers to travel size hand sanitizer. I can admit quite proudly that my purse is not an exception to that stereotype.
In my three years working in a library, though, I must say I've seen scarier things stuck in books than anything that's ever made its way into my purse.
Today it was a nail file, which was obviously well used. Sometimes I make fun of my dad for using toilet paper as a bookmark, but I have since decided that's not all that weird. If you don't have a bookmark handy and happen to be sitting in what dad likes to call "the office," toilet paper seems like a viable option. A nail file, however, is not the first thing on my list of creative bookmarks.
We tend to find a lot of private documents too. I heard a statistist on the news once that someone's identity is stolen every 4 seconds. One would think this kind of truth would keep people from putting their bank statements, credit card statements, and doctor bills in the middle of their books, but alas, it doesn't. I'd personally rather loose my place in the story than my identity.
The most ironic part of it all is that noone ever comes back looking for these documents. We keep them for a while and then shred them if they aren't claimed--you can thank us later. The only things I've actually had people coming back desperately searching for are...bookmarks.
In my three years working in a library, though, I must say I've seen scarier things stuck in books than anything that's ever made its way into my purse.
Today it was a nail file, which was obviously well used. Sometimes I make fun of my dad for using toilet paper as a bookmark, but I have since decided that's not all that weird. If you don't have a bookmark handy and happen to be sitting in what dad likes to call "the office," toilet paper seems like a viable option. A nail file, however, is not the first thing on my list of creative bookmarks.
We tend to find a lot of private documents too. I heard a statistist on the news once that someone's identity is stolen every 4 seconds. One would think this kind of truth would keep people from putting their bank statements, credit card statements, and doctor bills in the middle of their books, but alas, it doesn't. I'd personally rather loose my place in the story than my identity.
The most ironic part of it all is that noone ever comes back looking for these documents. We keep them for a while and then shred them if they aren't claimed--you can thank us later. The only things I've actually had people coming back desperately searching for are...bookmarks.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Books by Mail and Poison
I never would have put these two items together--books and poison--until today.
One of our regular patrons (who I will say does have some mental handicap, but, just to be clear, this blog by no means is meant to make fun of or discriminate against said group of people) came up and looked a bit disgruntled.
Me: "Can I help you, sir?"
Him: "Yeah. I want to send my brother a book in your inter-library mail to him. Can you do that?"
Me: "Is this a book you have checked out?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "And you want to send it to his house?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "Ok. Well, the only books we send to patrons' houses are those that are bed-ridden or handicapped and cannot come to the library. And those people have to fill out a form, so if he would like to get books that way, he can fill out an application for that."
Him: "Ok. So I can't send it to him in your library mail?"
Me: "No sir. We don't really have a way to do that."
Him: (grumbles) "Ok. Well, what about if someone put illegal poison in my medicine? What can you do about that here?"
Me: "Umm...well, I don't know. That's probably something you want to talk to your pharmacist about."
Then he turns and leaves.
The thing about the whole conversation that left me befuddled was whether or not there was a kind of poison that was legal.
One of our regular patrons (who I will say does have some mental handicap, but, just to be clear, this blog by no means is meant to make fun of or discriminate against said group of people) came up and looked a bit disgruntled.
Me: "Can I help you, sir?"
Him: "Yeah. I want to send my brother a book in your inter-library mail to him. Can you do that?"
Me: "Is this a book you have checked out?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "And you want to send it to his house?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "Ok. Well, the only books we send to patrons' houses are those that are bed-ridden or handicapped and cannot come to the library. And those people have to fill out a form, so if he would like to get books that way, he can fill out an application for that."
Him: "Ok. So I can't send it to him in your library mail?"
Me: "No sir. We don't really have a way to do that."
Him: (grumbles) "Ok. Well, what about if someone put illegal poison in my medicine? What can you do about that here?"
Me: "Umm...well, I don't know. That's probably something you want to talk to your pharmacist about."
Then he turns and leaves.
The thing about the whole conversation that left me befuddled was whether or not there was a kind of poison that was legal.
Monday, August 1, 2011
My First Patient
So, when I started this blog and decided to name it "Dr. Librarian," it was more in the spirit of all of the undiagnosed (a.k.a crazy) people that come my way. However, I have since realized that occasionally there are people who mistake me for a real doctor (and apparently the library for a drugstore, but I'm getting ahead of myself).
Be it known now: I have absolutely no medical training and am not fit to diagnose anyone's ailments, growths, or whether or not you have appendicitis.
A woman came in the other day and ask if we had "milk thirst."
I had to make her repeat it a few times to even figure out what she was saying, but I decided asking a fourth time wasn't going to help. So, I said: "Milk thirst? Is that the title of a book?" Being a library, that seemed like a viable option.
Woman: "No. I thank it's some kinda drank."
Me: "A drink?" At this point I'm thinking...does this woman know she's in a library? I mean, we patrol drinks like they're arsenic around here, and she thinks we sell them? "Umm..."
Then my gracious coworker steps in (We'll call her Jennifer.)...
Jennifer: "It's a drink? Ok. Let me see." She proceeds to look on Google (our best friend) and types in "milk thirst." Nothing, of course, comes up. "Well, I don't see anything..."
Woman: "Lemme run out to my car. I got it written down."
She walks out the door and comes back a few minutes later. Jennifer is helping another patron, so I'm elected.
The woman shows me the small piece of paper with the words "milk thistle" and "silymarin" on it. With the help of Google (told you it was my best friend), I figured out that milk thistle does indeed exist. It's a plant related to the sunflower that's seeds can be used for medicinal purposes. Silymarin is the active ingredient in the seeds that can be bought in supplement form. Silymarin apparently helps detoxify the liver and contains a lot of antioxidants. (See how much you can learn on the internet?)
I explained all of this to her and told her she'd have to go to Walgreens or some other drugstore to find it (not the library--but we probably have a book about it!).
Then, I apparently turned into a doctor. The disadvantage to Google: looking way smarter than you are.
Woman: "Yeah. It has somethin' to do wit your liver. Yeah. Ok...Yeah, see I've got this pain right here..." starts pushing on the right side of her stomach "and I think it might be my liver. Or my gall bladder. I'm not sure which."
Me: "Well, it's probably not your liver because that's a bit further back, but if it's on your right side it could be your gall bladder or appendix."
Woman (pulling her shirt up just below her bust line) "Yeah, it just hurts right here, so I'm not sure what it is."
Me: "Ok. Well, it could be a lot of different things. My advice would be to go get it checked out by a doctor." (A real one.)
Woman (shirt still up): "Yeah. I was thinkin' I might go get it checked out. Ok. One other question...what are processed foods?"
Be it known now: I have absolutely no medical training and am not fit to diagnose anyone's ailments, growths, or whether or not you have appendicitis.
A woman came in the other day and ask if we had "milk thirst."
I had to make her repeat it a few times to even figure out what she was saying, but I decided asking a fourth time wasn't going to help. So, I said: "Milk thirst? Is that the title of a book?" Being a library, that seemed like a viable option.
Woman: "No. I thank it's some kinda drank."
Me: "A drink?" At this point I'm thinking...does this woman know she's in a library? I mean, we patrol drinks like they're arsenic around here, and she thinks we sell them? "Umm..."
Then my gracious coworker steps in (We'll call her Jennifer.)...
Jennifer: "It's a drink? Ok. Let me see." She proceeds to look on Google (our best friend) and types in "milk thirst." Nothing, of course, comes up. "Well, I don't see anything..."
Woman: "Lemme run out to my car. I got it written down."
She walks out the door and comes back a few minutes later. Jennifer is helping another patron, so I'm elected.
The woman shows me the small piece of paper with the words "milk thistle" and "silymarin" on it. With the help of Google (told you it was my best friend), I figured out that milk thistle does indeed exist. It's a plant related to the sunflower that's seeds can be used for medicinal purposes. Silymarin is the active ingredient in the seeds that can be bought in supplement form. Silymarin apparently helps detoxify the liver and contains a lot of antioxidants. (See how much you can learn on the internet?)
I explained all of this to her and told her she'd have to go to Walgreens or some other drugstore to find it (not the library--but we probably have a book about it!).
Then, I apparently turned into a doctor. The disadvantage to Google: looking way smarter than you are.
Woman: "Yeah. It has somethin' to do wit your liver. Yeah. Ok...Yeah, see I've got this pain right here..." starts pushing on the right side of her stomach "and I think it might be my liver. Or my gall bladder. I'm not sure which."
Me: "Well, it's probably not your liver because that's a bit further back, but if it's on your right side it could be your gall bladder or appendix."
Woman (pulling her shirt up just below her bust line) "Yeah, it just hurts right here, so I'm not sure what it is."
Me: "Ok. Well, it could be a lot of different things. My advice would be to go get it checked out by a doctor." (A real one.)
Woman (shirt still up): "Yeah. I was thinkin' I might go get it checked out. Ok. One other question...what are processed foods?"
Friday, April 22, 2011
Maybe we should stick to EASTER eggs, folks!
I'm not sure where the last 6 months have gone, but to make up for it, I give you this story. Fortunately for me, this happened to a co-worker of mine. She gave me permission to share it.
In her own words, this is how the conversation went...
Patron: Suzy...you pregnant?
Me: Um, no ma'am.
Patron: Well, you must just be bloated today. How old are you?
Me: Uh, 30.
Patron: Well, you have 5 years 'til those eggs dry up.
Me: Oh. Uh, ok. Thanks... and have a nice day?!?!
Rule of thumb: never ask a girl if she's pregnant and DEFINITELY don't follow it up with another insinuation that she looks fat--this is not a good cover-up strategy.
In her own words, this is how the conversation went...
Patron: Suzy...you pregnant?
Me: Um, no ma'am.
Patron: Well, you must just be bloated today. How old are you?
Me: Uh, 30.
Patron: Well, you have 5 years 'til those eggs dry up.
Me: Oh. Uh, ok. Thanks... and have a nice day?!?!
Rule of thumb: never ask a girl if she's pregnant and DEFINITELY don't follow it up with another insinuation that she looks fat--this is not a good cover-up strategy.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Psychic Librarian
Today's phone conversation proves I have not been blessed with the ability to read people's minds...
Me: "Pleasantville Library, can I help you?"
Patron: "Yes."
**Insert long and uncomfortable pause here.**
Me: "Hello?"
Patron: "Yes."
Me: "How can I help you?"
Patron: "I want to see what's due on this card." *Spouts off library card number.*
Now we're getting somewhere! Unfortunately, as a general rule, librarians don't know what you want or need until you tell them. The first step to recovery is admitting that you need help, so at least this patron is on the right track. However, we appreciate those of you who are able to articulate not only that you need help, but what you need help with, on the first try.
Me: "Pleasantville Library, can I help you?"
Patron: "Yes."
**Insert long and uncomfortable pause here.**
Me: "Hello?"
Patron: "Yes."
Me: "How can I help you?"
Patron: "I want to see what's due on this card." *Spouts off library card number.*
Now we're getting somewhere! Unfortunately, as a general rule, librarians don't know what you want or need until you tell them. The first step to recovery is admitting that you need help, so at least this patron is on the right track. However, we appreciate those of you who are able to articulate not only that you need help, but what you need help with, on the first try.
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